Don’t forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it
The above resonates with me as in my life experience there has never been a quote which I can relate to on such a personal level.
At this time I feel the need to personalise my blog. This is due to the encouragement and inspiration I have drawn from people who I have only met once or who are not family. In passing or fleeting moments, I have told strangers about my aspirations of writing and always received wonderful, positive responses. So to me they are truly ANGELS.
I am lucky as even though the people who support me are not family I get support nonetheless. Can you believe that out of all my family members, there is only ONE cousin who reads my blog and truly believes in me. Yes, ONE.
Maybe because of my past failures and my consistent habit of not seeing tasks through to the end my family have me written up as a ‘failure’ – That’s my perception, anyway.
That’s why I believe that strangers do count…Now I feel it’s high time I personalise my blog. I started it to journal my journey as a writer. It sounded so romantic at the time. Then I got ‘cold feet’ and started doubting my writing abilities and chucked out bits of posts which in all honeslty could have done with a lot more effort and LOVE.
My first step is to post my picture to let my readers/followers know who I am.
I have not been honest especially to myself about my efforts to become a writer as I have been shoddy and lazy. More importantly I have been using the word ‘procrastination’ without merit. I believe when a person procrastinates they eventually get the task at hand done. Whereas I have so many writing tasks which I have left open ended. To give myself credit, I have been writing when I felt down which is better than not writing at all I suppose.
Over the past couple of months I have been though a tough time – Yes, I know it’s called LIFE. I have accepted responsibility for everything which has not worked out.
I did not manage to finish my degree and will not be graduating with the rest of my year. I got overwhelmed with the workload, started to panic and just flaked. So in true ‘Veronica-Style’ I gave up! A mix of trying to be a perfectionist and lack of focus led me to produce nothing.
Last month I had a job interview at a top London university library which would have been ideal yet due to a stupid lack of judgement I missed it. I felt numb. This is just an example of some of the hideously sloppy things I have done and have on constant replay in my head.
I have four sons who rely on me for everything. I encourage them to pursue anything they hold as a desire because they ‘can do anything they put their minds to’ yet I seldom take my own advice.
I try hard to be grateful for the life that I have as I am fully aware that I am blessed and there are many people who are less fortunate than myself. Yet, saying this it’s all so easy to sit and dwell especially when you feel lonely. Worse, when all you want to do is stay in bed and hide from the real world; because of responsiblities you have no choice but to get up and face everything. As you have four young people who are depending on you, watching you and learning from every move you make. So you have to grin and bear it and put the best out for them. So you soldier on…
I hope this post does not come across as too melodramtic and self-pitying , I just wanted to expres myself to my readers/followers and sort of explain why I hardly post.
If you have got this far I suppose I must be doing something right and I thank you wholeheartedly for your time.
As always, I ask you to leave any valuable comments/criticisms or even your own experiences of failure/success. Thank you.